Have I gone too far? Sometimes you have to love yourself... I am confident enough in my booty acquiring skills that I can share this - any man saying he doesn't do this is a liar and the truth is not in him.
Palmer's Cocoa Butter has a more natural viscosity than Vaseline without the industrial petroleum jelly smell. And you can always explain the smell of cocoa butter - "I just took a shower...(or) My hands were dry...". Harder to explain a Vaseline smell - "huh, I'm...um...just moisturizing my lips..." - sounds suspect (no homo).
Buy my book, read some stories...LOL.