Dating Red Flags

I'll start with a disclaimer: 1. I don't profess to be perfect in any way. 2. I'm not the most experienced person, but this is from my limited experiences. 3. I just thought this would be fun and interesting to think and write about. That's it...

This is my list of pet peeves. The things that jump out to me when dating that make me run for cover, wave the white flag, or just take a young lady home early. (Not in any particular order and not all inclusive.)

1. Ordering a dinner entree if we're eating lunch. There are various 7.99 - 9.99 lunch items available. If you order the 25.99 steak dinner, we're going dutch. Are you really that hungry?

2. Being rude to the hostess/waitress/Mexican guy with the water pitcher. I don't like discounting anyone -- not even the homeless guy outside the restaurant.

3. Leave your phone in the car. If you are checking your texts, emails, and voice mails, you're telling me "I'm not interested". Which is cool. I hope you brought your wallet for dutch.

4. If you say at anytime in the conversation: "I'm an independent woman." It just doesn't need to be stated. "Independence" means dutch.

5. Getting so drunk you throw up. Handle your liquor -- not sexy.

6. Calling me "Sweetie" or "Honey" at anytime in the conversation. Just don't like it.

7. If you hate your mama.

8. Kissing too wet. I don't want seconds on what we just ate. Keep it simple.

9. Going to the hostess stand before me and putting your name on the waiting list. "Two for Aquaniqua, please." You have just stated "dutch".

10. Too many special requests: "Can you please cook the burger mid-medium well with lettuce, no tomato, only one pickle, mayonnaise on the side? Do you have wheat buns?" It's a burger and it's never going to be perfect.

11. Nothing's good enough. Not enough vodka in the drink. Not enough juice. Meals not warm enough. "Where's more water?" You may want to get it perfect because you're paying for it - dutch.

12. If at any time in the conversation you say: "Men are intimidated by me." Your looks, your money, your career... Yeah, really - heavy sarcasm -DUTCH!

13. Suspicious of every intimate move I make. I might be trying to spice up the conversation or make a connection. Every thing doesn't mean I'm trying to "get some" - not that desperate.

14. If you make under $40,000 and everything you have is brand name and you let me know about it. I'm going to start talking about my Target shirt and Payless shoes just to be annoying.

15. Conversation extremes: (Too talkative/quiet) If I can't get a sentence in while you tell me about the crazy guy at work or if all your answers are only "yes" or "no", my response is "You want to just split it up the middle or calculate what we ate?"

16. If you get too freaky too soon. It has to fit the situation or it just becomes scary. I might be a minority among men on this one.

17. If nothing's new to you. You been everywhere, done everything, and nothing excites you. "You've gone dutch before, of course."

18. Acting too professional. I don't want to talk about work and this is not a job interview. Loosen up damnit!

19. Wearing too much make up or wearing club gear.

20. Any statement that starts: "When I used to dance..."

21. If we have to pick up your kids before I drop you off.